We didn't start the fire

Over the last few days I've spent quite a few hours stuck in trees.....I've been lopping the hawthorne trees that form the boundary to our allotment.  I did this last year but completely forgot that I really should be wearing big thick gloves for this job as my hands now look like Freddie Kruggars.  While I was stuck up the tree I've had some interesting conversations with passers by about the 2.5% VAT increase, living for today (the woman was telling me about her husband's stroke), the trials and tribulations of being a long distance lorry driver (Jac's dream occupation), squatting (its good to be a squatter) and loads of lovely comments about how hard we've worked to convert our overgrown piece of land into something that resembles an allotment.
Despite the sore hands, the tree lopping was quite rewarding, however my big problem now is that I need to burn all of the debris - and neither me nor Jac can light fires  - last year it took us about a month of trying; we used paper, tonnes of lighter fuel, blew on it, swore at it, pleaded with it ... but nothing,  In the end I had to get my dad to give me a hand  - it took him all of 10 minutes to get it going!  It seems that everyone we've told about our fire starting inadequacies finds it highly amusing especially my sister who thinks that our insistence on living in the dark ages should equip us nicely for lighting fires.
Having decided I wouldnt be able to light a fire without my dad to supervise, I decided to plant the first lot of onions, garlic and broadbeans  - and managed to find an egg buried just under the surface of the soil - it was fully intact and sounded runny when I shook it  - like Jac posted the other day; Easter is on its way!

Colin