It looked like blood splatter patterns, but actually it was port. Anybody walking into our kitchen would have seen me n Col with red smeared hands, and port coloured stains up the walls, over the cupboards and dripping across the kitchen floor.
Even Dr Watson would have struggled to make sense of what happened tonight......
Colin had wanted to see how much port was remaining in our oak cask port barrel, and rather unwisely decided to test the depth by sticking a knife into the hole in the top of the barrel. Then even more unwisely he let go of the knife and dropped it into the barrel. At this point its probably best to explain that its quite a big barrel, when its full it holds about 20 bottles of port, and at this moment in time it was probably about half full.
Obviously the knife couldn't be left in there, so after decanting the port into all of the available bowls and jugs that we had, Col set about trying to get the damn thing out - easier said than done....
Think of a blacksmiths puzzle using a big oak barrel and a pair of pliers and a crochet hook, using a high powered head torch with a barrel thats still got the last dregs of port in it, so that every time it moves slightly, there is a whole Hammer House of Horror special effect scene as its runs down your arms on to your hands, splashes across walls and floors, and dribbles like a baby.
Three quarters of an hour later, Colin, the king of puzzles got the knife out, three quarters of an hour after that we'd nearly cleaned the kitchen - although I do worry that we've missedt some porty stains in some obscure place, and that when we sell the house, the new owners will wonder what went off .
Even Dr Watson would have struggled to make sense of what happened tonight......
Colin had wanted to see how much port was remaining in our oak cask port barrel, and rather unwisely decided to test the depth by sticking a knife into the hole in the top of the barrel. Then even more unwisely he let go of the knife and dropped it into the barrel. At this point its probably best to explain that its quite a big barrel, when its full it holds about 20 bottles of port, and at this moment in time it was probably about half full.
Obviously the knife couldn't be left in there, so after decanting the port into all of the available bowls and jugs that we had, Col set about trying to get the damn thing out - easier said than done....
Think of a blacksmiths puzzle using a big oak barrel and a pair of pliers and a crochet hook, using a high powered head torch with a barrel thats still got the last dregs of port in it, so that every time it moves slightly, there is a whole Hammer House of Horror special effect scene as its runs down your arms on to your hands, splashes across walls and floors, and dribbles like a baby.
Three quarters of an hour later, Colin, the king of puzzles got the knife out, three quarters of an hour after that we'd nearly cleaned the kitchen - although I do worry that we've missedt some porty stains in some obscure place, and that when we sell the house, the new owners will wonder what went off .
No comments:
Post a Comment